Spongebob's 100% real official blog

resstless:

IF YOU EVER FEEL SAD JUST LOOK AT THIS FAKE SLAP 

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what i actually said: i forgot
what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.

i believe the kardashian sisters sneak into the jenner sisters’ rooms at night and steal their fat to inject into their own asses and chests

I JUST SPENT AN HOUR DOWNLOADING KIM K HOLLYWOOD FOR MY NOOK OMG IM SO EXCITED

im watching icarly, playing pokemon, and eating a banana with peanut butter and chocolate chips how old do you think i am

having no groceries is more dangerous than having everything i could ever want because i end up eating things like a block of cheese and a handful of chocolate chips

heatoise:

*sees a dog*

me: holy shit

they’re…

they’re making a sequel to the live action fairly oddparents movie.

sketch-elf:

A muggle-born’s sibling sends them a howler in the middle of the school year and it arrives while they eat. When they open it, all it does is simply scream “WHAT TEAM?”. Nearly all the muggle-borns shout “WILDCATS!” before returning to their meal, leaving the pure-bloods in total confusion of what the hell they just witnessed.